Posting to keep my account active is annoying. But I suppose if I want it I got to use. Whatever.

Nothing new. Though I've decided I'm sick of kids. I think if I keep doing what I'm doing I'm not going to want my own kids down the road. So I've decided I would rather clean houses rather then work with kids. I love to clean other peoples houses. I think that's how it is with most people; we would rather clean other peoples crap as opposed to our own. Such is the case with me.

Well, so goes the life of me.

Ever feel like you're talking to yourself? You say things to people they acknowledge but ultimately don't hear what you said? I feel like that a lot. I feel like i listen to EVERYONE but no one really wants to take the time to listen to me. Its not like I have big problems that I want to lay on anyone but sometimes its nice if it actually felt like someone cared and wanted to listen to my rambling.

Life really does suck sometimes. And I don't usually say that. I'm the easiest going person I know.

The baby-sitting job I was suppose to have for the summer is no more. The dad decided he didn't want to use me anymore since I don't have a car of my own. Which is getting increasingly annoying. Thankfully his ex-wife still likes me and doesn't care if I have a car or not as long I can get to the house to meet the bus. And if I didn't have a car to use to get to the house I usually have a ride and she would just take me home.

*sigh*

Besides that, I seem to be a magnet for the teenagers at the church. They just flock to me for some reason and tell me all the things going on in their lives. I don't mind really, it just srikes me a wierd. I tell them I can listen but since I was homeschooled and have no real world experiance, I'm terrible at the advice thing. I can give opinions on what I think they should do but that's all. Being single kinda sucks.

Alright. I'm done whining now.

So I have my car but I just can't drive it as it still doesn't work. It's currently sitting in my parents driveway.

I moved out and in with a family at church. I haven't been stressed out for three weeks now. It's wonderful. I'm helping out the mom with house stuff and kid stuff and it's been so much fun. And they have a pool, which is a plus :)

My hours at work have been cut so I'm only working once a month. I'm still looking for another job but with little success. I've only ever worked one place (where I work now) and I've been here for almost four years. I've been volunteering in the Guest Services aspect of the church so I've gotten some customer service experience. But church people and non-church people are completely different.

All in all I'm doing ok for someone who doesn't make enough money. I don't have to pay rent where I am as I am providing free baby-sitting. But I also house sit for a few people when needed and they pay me. I'll be house/kid sitting in June and they usually pay good.

So yeah. That's pretty much my life right now. Nothing too exciting. Well, I guess moving out is exciting, for me anyway since I've only ever lived in one place.

I guess I'll update when I have more to say.

So, we got my car from the guy who had it but now someone else has it. Fortunately my brother-in-law knows the guy who has it now. Hopefully it'll get done now. The engine was in pieces in my trunk when we originally got it back, then we had to wait for that guy to give us a part that was needed to fix it and that took him like two weeks.

I really have no idea when its going to be done. My dad's handling the whole thing.

Other then that nothings new.

I still only have about six hours a week in my job and I'm still loking for another.

Ah well. If I get one, I get one. If not, I don't.

Wow. It's been a while since I've been on livejournal let alone posted. I'm way behind on everything. It's gonna take forever to catch up on all the happenings *sigh* Ah well. Nothing to do about it.

So what's been going on with me? Hm. Well, my best friend has decided to go to New York to find a job and move there an I decided I'd like to go with her. Only problem is I have no money right now and she left today. So I'm looking for a job so I can get some together to make the move up there.

Most everyone's been really supportive and encouraging to me with is helpful. Only a couple people have tried to discourage me from going. I just figure I need a change of pace and need to experiance some new things.

It all rely's on whether or not my best friend ends up staying there. If she doesn't find a job in 3 to 4 weeks she's coming back. She's going to be staying with a mutual friend until then.

What else? Oh, I still don't have my car back. It's been 6 friggin' months since this guy took it to fix it. My dad gave him a choice last week: get it done in two weeks or we report it stolen. He says it'll be done this Thurs. or Fri. But he's been saying stuff like that for the past 5 months. I'm pretty laid back and paitent but it got to the point 2 months ago that I was ready to throtle the guy if he didn't give me back my car. I told him I was patient but that I WANT MY CAR BACK.

I don't know how much longer it's going to take before I completely snap. I know several cops who work a detail at my church so I'll ask one of them this weekend what I can and should do.

Other then that, I'm doing good. I applied to work on a cruise ship and am waiting to hear back from them. I've put in applications in a lot of other places too but the cruise is the only one that's gotten in touch. I filled out an e-mail interview as part of a three interview process so all I have to do is wait.

Nothing else is coming to mind. I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Year!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING everyone!!!!! I hope you all have a wonderful day!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm hungry already!

Ok, anxieties aside. Absolutely no lines at all where I voted. And I live in Florida. It was such a relief for me.


I VOTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't voted yet. I think it's called procrastinating. Long lines are evil and I don't like them.

On another note, I had it in my head yesterday that the kitchen was to messy and decided to clean it. Clean and me are never a very good combination and anyone who's seen my room can confirm that. My bedroom usually looks like my laundry basket exploded. But anyway, I cleaned the kitchen and it's shockingly still clean. With my dad in the house, nothing stays clean for long. And he gets on my case when my room isn't tidy. *shrug*

On another note, Twilight has taking over my life. So much so, I haven't seen Atlantis in weeks. It's really very sad. I have no idea what's going on in that world. I have to avoid review posts from everyone on my flist. As I said, very sad. I just can't understand why I'm so hooked. I mean, I do love everything related to vampires so that might be why. Vampires are <3.

Well, I'm running on very strong coffee right now so I best up the caffeine to good use (as I did yesterday when I clean the kitchen) and clean my room. I've got Christmas presents to make as well so I need to get to those.

Oh, and I'm still looking for another job. Which is why I'm making most of the Christmas presents.

Well, ta.

I've finally found the time and energy to make icons. Aren't you proud? 

It's all one fandom though. I'll just let you find out what fandom on your own.

I worked most of the day on these so I hope you like them.

( my brand of heroine )

I want to get photoshop so I can make more icons and fix any other pictures if needed. I just don't know what to get. If anyon has any advice, that would be great. I probably wouldn't get it until I get a bit more money but I want to be prepared when I do.

So it's 1:30 in the morning here and I'm still awake. Obviously. I don't know why though but I'm watching CSI: Miami. *shrug* And I think I might be writing a Twilight fanfic. I'm not sure what it's a bout yet and I don't know why I'm writing it. I gues I'm going through a Twilight phase now.

And to make that worse, I didn't want to watch Atlantis on Friday. I missed two weeks in a row now. It's kind of sad. I'm losing the passion for kids AND Atlantis *sigh*

I just need a change in my life. I need to find something that works for me and that I like to do. I just can'tthink of anything.

I wish I wanted to be me instead of someone, anyone else.

I really hate that, right now in my life, I'd give anything to be someone else. Not that anything bad's happened. No, I just have this nagging in my head that I want to be someone else but I wish I wanted to just be me. It annoys me that I want to be anyone else.

Don't ask where this came from. It's just been in my head all day and I just thought I'd post it to get it out in the open. I guess it's a low self-esteem thing; or maybe low confidence, I'm not sure. Whatever it is, I want it to go away and leave me alone. Think that's too much to ask? 

I've never been good at making up my mind on little things let alone life decisions. I'm losing the passion for my passion and I think its because of the routine of it. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday. The only day I'm without kids is Friday. I think I need more than that.

It's not only bad that I can't figure out my life. When or if I ever tell my dad this it's going to cause all sorts of problems. I still haven't found another job (though I guess if I actually looked it would help), so telling him I need to stop with kids won't be fun.

Anywho, I'm at work right now. I'm going to be here all day just to save on gas so I may get some icons done (yay!). Possibly. I won't promise anything. I've collected a few caps but I still need more. My laptop doesn't have as much on it as the home computer (doesn't have as much space either) but I'm getting there.

Ok, I'm going to get off and get to work.

Ta.

I think I'm getting bored by the very thing I love to do. Is that possible? How can I be bored by something I love? I love kids and I love working with them but I'm getting so bored. Maybe it's because I have such a set schedule. I am with kids six days out of the week.

It hasn't been good for my weight either. Being able to sit around while the kids take a nap; not to mention the parents who tell me to help myself to the pantry and fridge. It's really bad. And I do. Help myself that is. I try not to but it never works out the way I intend. *sigh*

The worst part about the weight thing is seeing all the women around me losing weight and I'm the one finding it. I know I'm overweight even if people keep telling me I'm not. It's all a matter of standing on the bathroom scale.

I've cut out soda already so that should help but there's a lot more stuff I gotta get out of my diet.

So yes. I'm bored with my job and it's making me fat. *rolls eyes* I can't win.

Ok. Now that I have returned home I shall post the few icons I made today.

They're all BBC Robin Hood and there are only 5.

( Here they are )

I had a small stroke of creativity and made a couple icons . . . . . where are they you might ask?

On my other computer.

Yeah. I know. I should have posted them earlier when I was home but that would have been the smart thing to do and I'm not known for being smartish.

So I guess I'll just post again when I get hime from church.

*rolls eyes* Genius.

I don't know when I posted last. I didn't look.

I just thought I'd let whoever cares know that I'm still alive. I've just been having issues with certain members of my family *cough*dad*cough*. He's still on my case about getting a job. It's not like I haven't looked. No ones hiring right now. I've got loads of baby-sitting jobs. He's just pissed because he's paying for my car to be fixed and I can't pay him back. Word to the wise: don't borrow money from your dad.

Yeah, my car's still broke. It's been what? two months? I had my dad call the guy the last two times so he could hear the excuses. I now know I owe my dad $950 for the repair and who knows how much for the actually purchase in September. I'm think I probably owe him the amount we bought it for. $1500.

I have all of $3 in the bank. That might sound sad but I have $120 in my backpack. Sounds backwards but I'm trying to stop myself from use my check card. And if I only have $3 in the bank, I'll stop buying stuff on iTunes. Aaannnndddd I owe on my credit card. I think I'm two months over due.

*sigh*

I'd like to start making icons again but I'm in a creative slump. I haven't written much fanfic either. It's so sad. I use to write all the time. I have about twenty stories going at the same time with no endings. My fanfics tend to be a bit epic with no endings.

Alright, I'm going to go bed. My parents are leaving tomorrow for two weeks so I'll have the house to myself for a lot of that. Lord knows my brother's going to show up and destroy my happiness.

Night.

Never tell an eight-yr-old girl she can draw on your hand.

( This is what will happen if you do. )